Breaking me is going to be hard.. I'm on a mission. I am my only downfall, and I know it. If I don't save me there won't BE a me.. Ted Jan helped me realize this..
But I'm fuckin' up, I'm not seeing the picture as big as I did before.. Irl, I take very cautious steps everywhere that I walk.. I need to apply that to everything I DOOOOOO..
I feel the walls closing in around me and I'm not fighting for my life like I should be.. Regret will be the only eternity for me if something were to happen. I'm ready to draw up my will @ this point, jic.. I do nooooooot want anyone to fuck w/ my writing, just let that be known.
Sike. Yeah, I would. But I'd want it pre-arranged soooooooo I guess the book = my will.
UGH. The back pain will call for drastic measures.. Holy shit.. I gotta get back.
I against I...
And I will not lose..
As a PS, this video is part of a discussion in the book.. More or less my interpretation of it, and it's relation to my life.
Veddy interesting.
Oh, and I gotta throw this out there.. I sooooo badly want to go visit Lauren's (crazy) uncle David again, but on a reeeeally good day, when he can just talk to me.. I have so many ?s to ask, none that I would ask in front of Lauren or Jaquetta, however..
I'll just stick to my original plan of checking myself in somewhere. Can you have pen and paper? PENCIL and paper? I'll take crayons, I'll just write little notes w/ them, lol. I would kill myself trying to write chapters w/ crayons, omfg.
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