Good fucking GOD...

When I truly have the time, I have so much to say, lmfao.. Hooowever, def have mad videos sooo...

I dunno, life's been one surprise after another and it just goes on and on.. It's the normality of things that strike ME as odd.. Everyone wants to be so shocking, so thrilling.. Bitch, bring it on.. I've seen it, I've heard it, I've DONE it... Unless it's that 'ol bullshit, cuz I save that for special occasions..

Tonight was weak as a bitch.. Of course, my curse kicked in.. A few undefeated rounds of beer pong and a super-chill stance on life and then BAM... Drama ensued like it always does when I'm chillin' that supremely.. Oh fucking well, I guess no one gaf about MEEEEEEEE NOT GAF..

GRACIOUS!

But anyway, b/c I don't want you to think I've been having a rotten time... Life as a whole has been fucking splendid.. I've been to some great parties, chilled w/ a looooot of old and new people in my life.. I dunno.. It's not perfect, but it's not weighing me down @ the current moment. Of course, this is the moment where I look back and wish I'd never said anything, b/c shit just flips me on my ass when I'm happy.. There's some deep-rooted things to be unhappy over so I think I'm in the clear.. Just gotta maintain a level of humility (even tho it's all-too obvious that I'm the shit) and keep on truckin...

Oooohhhhh this comm'l just reminded me.. Three for three w/ Brent.. We saw Iron Man it's first Sat, Speed Racer that Friday, and then we went to the midnight showing Thursday for Prince Caspien.. Don't believe the bs, people. Speed Racer was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.. Colors like that only exist in my dreams, in my imagination.... Or, so I thought.. It was fantastic.. Of course, all the family moments, etc, I was passed out. I can't do it, esp when I'm fucked up..!

I haven't seen certain people, but I'm not gonna fret over it.. Like I always say, it is what it is! See ya when I see ya, right? Isn't that how that goes? Word.

Hm what eeeeeeellllllllssssssssseeeeeeeeeeewwwww omfg I have SOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING MANY PICTURES TO UPLOAD ETC.. And remember, I'm already iiiiiiiinnnnnnnnn the hole when it comes to pics.. FUCK. I haven't been online really tho, esp not where I can just get down on the shit and get it done! FUCK..!!! I need to do this, seriously... Here we go again! Hell, @ least I started writing again.. It seriously was like, weeks since I'd written something I'd pass into the book..

Hooooowwwwwwwwwever, Jake's awesome compliments on my vocabulary and writing the other night meant a lot to me, which in turn gave me motivation to write more and more.. Not like, he inspired me to complete the book etc on some 'ol Jenn-ay shit but just made me think about how many things I had to say and needed to get down before I forgot..

Uh shit, what else.. A ridiculous amount, so I think I'm just gonna end it on a kiss, just like ___ wants to.. Haha.. What a wonderful woooooooorrrrrrrrrllllllllllddddd..

I'd really love for it to be fall right now.. Autum would be a blessing.. I'm closing in on my goals (no, the books' not done, fuck off) and closing out the crapola.. There are still females that drive me up the fucking wall w/ their neurotic behaviour, but that's just going to be a part of life, soooo...

UNLESSSSSSSSSS..........

K, yeah I am def mad tired and rambling.. Goodbyeeeeeee..

Sike. I just might end up in a few rounds of Mario Kart for the Wii. Bomb diggity, lemme tell you..

PS PLEEEEEEEEEEASE GOD FORCE ME TO COPY/PASTE THE FILES NOW.. I can thumb them later so yeah, maybe I will.. It's gonna take every driblet of space on this bitch tho, maybe I can hold out a little longer....?

The VIDEOS, however, need a quick and speedy trial.

Ugh.

Sooooooo Iron Man was the shit, right....

But this isn't about Iron Man, or people w/ iron will. This is about the weak people who don't know when to fuckin' quit..

Ohh, boy.. I hit a little moment where I didn't have too much to say, didn't feel like writing..

TIME'S UP ON THAT, THANKS GUYS! Your ignorance is awe-inspiring. Not just that, but your general ways of life.... Yeeeeeeaaaahhhhhh, got lots of things to talk about NOW.

Hm, to take back some of the credit, I had plenty to write about, just lacked the motivation to do so. Never had enough time to reeeeeally say anything.. But now?? I've got a bushel of ideas and I'm in the process of getting them out.. I'm almost afraid of my brilliance, haha.. As narcissistic as that sounds, I dgaf..

"Take a look insiiiiide my miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnndddd..."

Someone paid me an insanely awesome compliment recently but that too shall wait for the book.. Just wanted to mention it a little, I guess..

Hm, I've already lost interest in this..

All I really wanted to say is that I've had so much lately.. All this year, really.. So many people that I've chilled w/, in the most relaxing/cool ass atmospheres.. Lots of starry skies and dewy mornings.. A bunch of hilarious stories you'll hear someday, when I think to say something about it.. Also have a bunch of pics but don't I always?? I don't really care about all the people in them, so we'll see how many actually make it to MS..

Uhh, what else.. This isn't a very fun blog but it's all I have to say right now.. Some of you just leave me sooo speechless, I guess.......



Desperation is a hell of a drug.

When will I blog again??

Not today.

However.....

Well, well, well...

Look what we have here...



Haha.. Yeah, it's Dani.. Hollaaaaaaa!

Shit happens.. People change. Neither of us have, but that's besides the point..

Ooh, lawdy.. I've been lovin' life, esp lately.. I love work, even tho it's nowhere neeeeeaaaaaaarrrrrr a dream job. However, I'm told that I've far exceeded expectations w/ no prior experience, lmmfao.. Ask me if you want to know where.. Don't need niggas on the jock while on the clock! I can't even answer the phone, gotta be up in the BATHROOM and shit..

I spend most of my potty time recording voice notes for Lauren b/c I don't have time to tell her all that I want to..

Hm.. I still want to go to the beach and do the shit Marina was talking about.. I want a 2nd job, something to occupy my nights. I work days, 4pm being the latest I've walked out of there.. It's only been a week, not even, but it's worrrd. It's not killing me like I thought, so it's w/e.. I'm only in it for the benefits.. Couple check-ups and a nigga is OUTTA there.. Not w/o a backup plan, obv, but that's another reason to go to the beach! Plus, my Ma's friend works @ a dealership and might get me in there.. West wants me to work @ Target (her friend is a manager) but I'm nooooooot really feelin' that. The returns a-LOOOOOOONE.

Actually, my happy ass would prob love it, so hm.. Might have to shake the piss up a bit and pass me a test or two.. I dunno, my job is 20 mins away, so a quick 40 a day and a nigga is brillin...! The days are going faster and faster, I looove it..

Not only that, but I have a LAUNDRY LIST of things I DESP need sooooooo I can't wait til payday.. It's on like Donkey Kong..

Hm, what else.. OHHHHHHH SOOOOOOO... Sat night was allllllllright for fighting.. And by fighting, I mean RULING the beer pong table @ Vogels.. Holy SHIT, Jessica and I won like ten games straight, which was all that was played b/c we def emptied the fridge completely. At the end of the night, it felt like I'd had MAYBE 5-6 beers total.. Shut-outs, near shut-outs, it was just fantastical! We made SUCH a great time, and we have the best beer pong chemistry b/c we stay out of each other's way and we don't ride the other player if they miss a time or two (or three.. it happens!).. We both know how bad we want to win, and it just makes us that much more determined.. Winning for two is fun, lol.. JessiKa took lots of pics from that night, none of which are flattering to my fat ass but oh well.. There's also pics from beer pong @ my house, all of which I need to upload but God only knows when that will happen.. I'm not even WRITING, OMFG EWWWWW...

Please, cuss me the fuck out for that.. If I told TJ that (altho obv he knows now) he would cuss me up and down.. But it's not for naught! I've just been busy, that's all.. I walk! Doesn't that count for something!??!

All of that was for Ted Jan, b/c those are the excuses I plan on giving me when he calls to ask why I'm not on my grind.. I just haven't felt that inspired lately..

WHICH btw is def a lie, b/c like a week ago I stole one of my fave novels ever, Rubyfruit Jungle by Rita Mae Brown.. Google it if you will. It has inspired me loooooaaaaaads, and I plan on writing about it. That's gonna be the Brick Breaker of knowledge that flows thru me.. After that, it'll all fall into place..

I actually know the real reason I haven't been writing, and it does have to do w/ inspiration, but none of a solid source.

Ugh. All of that sounds like a cop-out. The main thing really has been time, b/c btt I can actually get ready to write, I'm all tired and shit and just end up not doing it.. Aw, fudge. I really want to tho.. Just sitting here @ the keyboard makes me want to let a bunch of shit go, but this is all I got for ya right now.. It's ok tho, I'm still gonna come w/ that FIIIIIIIII-YA soooooo don't even worry about it..

BTW, b/c I can't stress this enough... BIG B, DIRTBALL, DGAF, POTLUCK ETC ETC ETCCCCCCCCC @ Peppermint Beach Club May 20th, be there orrrrrrr be them bum ass niggas that wish they'd been in attendance! Dylan is forsaking a trip to South Dakota (yikes!) for the show, so I know your ass can go.. That is, if you're into it.. Don't go just b/c I said so, altho some of you prob will, haha...

Um, I think that's all I have to say for right now.. I'm suddenly @ a loss for words.

Lest I forget...

Maroon 5 is DEFINITELY coming the DAY AFTER my birthday, WHIIIIIIICH is my late husband's (Brad Renfro) birthday.

Maybe God is apologizing for taking him so soon??

Apology MOST DEF not accepted, if so.

Of course, b/c I said that, Adam Levine is gonna die in a firey bus crash and I'm gonna kill myself immediately afterwards.

DEF already taking that back, jic. If Brad can go, anythings possible in MY book.

But anyway, I reeeeally want to go to this, soooooooo.. Now that the 311 concert has been taken care of, who wants to buy me ANOTHER awesome-ass present??!

Any takers?? I mean, I'ma end up going regardless, but if you reeeeally loved me...



Btw, I'm watching that ep right now, lol.. I ♥ Chris Kirkpatrick, his voice is so cute lol..

MY SHINY TEETH ARE AWESOOOOOOOOOOME! LMMFAO..

I had a dream about you last night...

Weird. It felt so real, too. Sooo real.

I still want make that mockumentary... Do you remember what I'm talking about? W/ the paparazzi shots, haha..

Very interesting..

What's more interesting is that in the dream, I told you about the moment that I realized when and why it all went sour, and the part that I played.. There was someone else there, but it wasn't in any kind of way significant, as this person would never be able to express themselves in the same way..

Two different levels..

Damn, I know exaaactly what I have to do, I just don't know if I want to do it..

I know what I want the outcome to be, and if it's anything other than that, I'll be highly annoyed.

Recently, I came to the conclusion that I will make amends w/ the world, let it be, and w/e happens from there, it just happens. Making amends doesn't = making friends, so it's not like I want people back into my life. I just want everything laid out in plain english and settled. Nothing to dwell on, no one to "hide" from, etc.

Soon as that happened, I was GOING to blog about it, but I never got around to it.. One of the people I immediately thought of afterwards hit me up days later.. I didn't want to do it after that b/c I didn't want it to seem contrived.. None of this is, that's why there are no specifics..

It is what it is, just like everything else.

I feel like I'm being buried alive.

Under what? A mountain of pictures I need to edit and upload, a PLETHORA of notes and shit that need to be written properly into the book.. I don't eeeeeeeeven want to get into how slack I've been on that, omfg..

It's depressing.. I feel like I haven't written a goddamn thing altho I have.. It's just not enough, not NEARLY enough.. But I've also been pre-occupied w/ the dumbest shit ever, thus making it my fault. I'll get it together on my next boring weekend.. Last weekend I painted Lauren's walls, went to a Pork Pull, and did the family outing thing w/ Angel, etc..

This weekend has no concrete plans so far, so maybe it'll happen. I need a weekend @ Gmas to really get my head back into it.. There's always major distractions everywhere.. Either there, or Sarup's.. Only places in VA I feel like I can just write and write.. Gmas comes w/ a hitch tho - everyone usually needs to be asleep b/c they ask me a thousand ?s otherwise.. Not just about writing, but that, too. That, and the whole looking over the shoulder thing, which is a condition I simply CANNOT write in. I tense up so hardcore, esp when I'm blogging, lol.

Anywhere that happens is a no-no. Unless I give some sort of hint, staaaay away. I've stated this before, but it's always good to give a little refresher course..

Anywaysssss, I've been on so many random little adventures, and there's so many pics and stories I have yet to share.. Notice how there's been a lack of blogs in the past month, other than certain moments where I just let it out a little.. But I don't have many of the moment-by-moment ones, hm? It's not even like they're private moments or anything, I just haven't felt like talking about it..

Last night, however, will def have pics to show for.. I turned a friend of mine into a fuckin' Doodle Bear, haha.. Can't wait to get those up, but I have like 400+ pics as of right now, NOT INCLUDING THOSE, to deal w/ soooooo...

Yeah.. I let everything pile up and now I'm basically ignoring the pics and writing.. That's essentially what I'm trying to say, haha.

Fuckin' A.. At least I've been mostly sticking to my new lifestyle plans, eh Ted Jan!? He's so proud of me, I loooove it! It's always motivation.. MUSIC is motivation and he provided a way to always have the music.. I feel like a bloated Aladdin, and he's my tatooed Genie, lol..

Awesome.