I don't know wtf this is gonna be about..

But like Shay just said to me via msg, everything inspires me, so I guess I'll just clickity-clack til it makes sense.

Even if not, I really dgaf..

And I'm lying, b/c I def DO know what I want to talk about. I want to talk about wriiiiiiitiiiiiiiiiiiiing...

I wish I had the resources to just do it.. By hand I obv could, but my thoughts run too randomly rampant for me to get it all out w/o forgetting, + I have a thing about how words look on paper. In pencil, I'll erase and re-write the same shit over and over until I think it looks right. Ink, I'll just scratch it out or w/e and even THAT has to look right. Typing works. Any grammar/syntax problems I have I also dgaf about, so oh well.

I just want to write. Not JUST write, and not write as in poems/short stories lol. Extraordinary things happen to me in everyday life, so why not?? All the notes, etc that I've been leaving myself have led me to the same spot I was in a few years back, when I FIRST started to think about it as a possibility. Only problem is, I'm having that realization about A LOT of things, so which do I choose to start w/?? Which dream can I make come to fruition first?? No idea, but if I let the fingers fly long enough, I'll figure something out. I just need to be in a wholly comfortable setting where everything I need is @ my disposal (NC, lol oh the irony), and I can do it w/ a clear head. If not clear, then only muddled by my own thoughts @ least. I'm inspired by life, yes, but it can also be insanely distracting.

Look how long I'll delayed the inevitable already....

And speaking of the inevitable.....

I have this friend...... Yes, someone who ISN'T me... This person is in a bind b/c there's a warrant out for their arrest but they don't want to turn themselves in for w/e reason. Reasons I know of, but don't wish to share. Not just b/c I don't see them all as valid, but just b/c.

Anyway, said friend is mutual friends w/ some of my best friends. One of these friends suggested we don't talk to said friend in question until the matter is handled properly. Now, while I can understand the motivation behind it, the result will be a friend stranded w/ no one to turn to about it.

Now, coming from OUR perspective, the warrant obv = said person being a liability as far as hanging out. I know enough people who come in contact w/ said person who carry things not quite legal around w/ them. You know what I mean.... And if we happen to be drinking, etc, goin' wild when the Jakes come thru tryna find that person, everyone else there could be in huge trouble. I'd take the punishment w/o trying to snitch etc, but TRUST I will be comin' @ you w/ a fast one to the teeth. Buuuuut do I have the right to? Not really, b/c I'd be putting myself in the path of trouble by hanging w/ said person... Which is what the friend NOT in trouble is trying to say....

BUT!............. We have NUMEROUS friends who've been in that same situation, people we've known ten times longer than said person, and no one suggested anything this harsh. Or any other kind of friendship terms, really. And not just hung out w/, but gotten high w/, gone on road trips w/, etc etc. And THEY never got shit for not having turned themselves in... So who are we to force this person??? I understand that there's a special bond there, but there's also the fact that they do not = us, we can't understand what's going on inside that persons mind to figure out why they won't go until the time they stated, so....

I dunno... It's weird. I DO want this person to take care of this ASAP, b/c they're very dear to me, but I'm not gonna shut you out of my life for a bad decision when there are people who've made worse decisions involving ME DIRECTLY that I still talk to.. Which, btw, to answer Brandi's comment yesterday about how I can be around people I DGAF about... She doesn't know Lisa the pacifist that USED to exist. Some part of me still wants everyone to just stfu and get along, but that's b/c unlike everyone elses claims, I REALLY DGAF... Talk, don't talk. Just leave me out of it! I don't care who remains friends, really, it's the talking shit that gets me.. I will stand up and say I've talked cash shit about some of the people I love the most, but it's in a moment of anger that doesn't get drawn out past the point. OTHER PEOPLE tend to carry grudges out of their own spitefulness and just beat the dead horse until it's reincarnated as something ELSE you "hate" about that person.

There is NO ONE @ ALL I hang w/ that I don't gaf about. There are things ABOUT them that I dgaf about that irritate me, like Nicky and Brandi = extremely bitchy mood swings (usually just b/c). Lauren = "retarded" (too blonde to know what she knows, if that makes sense). Jessica = stubborn and irresponsible (which doesn't affect ME b/c a. we don't argue and b. I'm not her mother), etc etc.. And I'm a dick. It's just one of those things you look past if you really love someone as a friend. ____ thinks ____ is too obnoxious/loud to be around. But they're viewed the same way in certain people's eyes. People who can see, lol. None of it matters in the end, so long as we always have each other's back, which brings me back to the issue @ hand.

I can't act like you don't exist. I will miss you, just like I miss Brandi when I want her to choke on a Laffy Taffy, just like I miss Lauren when I want her to choke on a DICK lmmmfao j/k but you get what I'm saying...

W/e, man.. My back hurts. I'm ghost.



PS, I need to find a title for Grace. She's like my blog dominatrix. My bad mama. Hm.. I'll think about it more later, my back really does feel like shit. One pill away from happiness tho, so I'll prob blog more later @ my Ma's. Uuuuuuuuunless I just go out and get caught up in some goofy shit, or Cinema Cafe, which Brandi, Lauren and I def did last night. Ran into some friends DIDN'T WE, SCOTTY WHO I NEVER SEE UNLESS IT'S A RANDOM OCCURANCE!?!?!

Bwahaha. I'm already typing a whole new blog before this one ends, haha. And btw, we saw INPYC&L (for my 5th time) and peed ourselves. Love that movie.

PPS, LOL L Beezy for your lil "No, I got the BLOGGER, honey!" answer to Brandi's claim that Lauren never replied to my blog yesterday. She knows I ♥ Blogger, and that my blogs go to the sacred ground first.