"I FUCKING DARE YOU TO SAY YES, BITCH. DAAAAAAAARE YOOOOOOOUUUUU. I WILL GET UP AND PUNCH YOU IN YOUR FUCKING MOUTH. I HOPE YOUR TEETH FALL OUT OF YOUR MOUTH, AND INTO THE BABY'S THROAT. I SWEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR..." - My thoughts after Sabrina asked to turn the light on this morning.
Ok, so lemme explain why I was so irritated. I get back here around like, 3am, I dunno. I wasn't paying attention. We sat in the backyard looking @ the stars (I saw a shooting star!) etc, bullshitted then it was just me... I go inside and LaViece (LV for all future purposes) is laid out on the couch w/ Madison where I usually end up crashing out. I don't like sleeping in the room b/c it's not like, MINE mine so yeah.. Plus there's all sorts of Jesus posters up aaaannnnndddddd that's a lil eerie to look @ in the middle of the night... PLUS the tv is about the size of this space I'm typing in, not so much on that one...
PLUS I can't hear the baby up there, and I'm not bringing her in there b/c none of her stuff is up there.
So yeah, most times I'm in the lr. Don't care that she crashed, it's her lr and couch. I DO however have a problem w/ her insane ass snoring. Like, worse than me when I'm having allergy problems... She sounds like a bear is eating her throat from the fucking inside. And by inside, I mean inside of a fucking bathroom, in stereo AND mono. I hope she GETS mono. Fucking BITCH.
After an hour, I finally pass out even tho her fuckin' death rattling is still taking place, but oh nooooooo... She decides to get the kids ready MAD early, so it's still dark out when I get woken up by a bunch of stupid fucking chatter. It's not even like normal just waking up noise, where you're rustling thru shit, bookbags etc.. These niggas decided it was fuckin' Savion Glover Day, so they were gonna tap dance/crip-walk in their fucking HEELIES on the kitchen floor. REALLY, BITCH, YOU'RE MOPPING. MAKE THEM STOP ASSHOLE.
I, of course, am spewing every sarcastic comment that comes to mind, everything BUT just saying "Hey, STFU." b/c there's a Swear Jar that I owe like $4000 in back-FUCK's on. I keep trying to "subtly" tell LV to shut her fucking kids up, and finally, mad late, she starts getting an attitude.
BITCH, NEED I NOT REMIND YOU THAT A. I DGAF ABOUT YOUR KIDS, OR B. THEY COULD EASILY BE SHUT THE FUCK UP, SO DON'T FUCK W/ ME!?!? And this was AFTER I'd stepped in - YOU GUESSED IT - ANOTHER PUDDLE OF PISS. I was SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETHING before anyone even opened their eyes, so by THIS time, I was ready to fuckin' DO IT. I was like, "Btw, I love it, think it's just SWELL when I step in dog piss. I'm SO glad it happens every day! Fucking AWESOME!" sdkfjhldskjhglkjsdnhglksd omfg so mad just thinking about it...
But back to the retards. I started snaaaaappin' about how it's "not that fucking hard to keep voices down, they've never been this loud in the am before!" etc etc.. I DGAF if it's your house, IIIIIIIIII am the one running this bitch b/c YOU are always @ work. Really, Polly FUCKING Pocket, your MAIN concern shouldn't be why I'm mad, but why your SEVEN-YEAR-OLD SON(OF A BITCH) CAN'T FUCKING READ, OR WHY SABRINA IS THE DUMBEST REDHEAD I'VE EVER LAID EYES (AND WANTED TO LAY HANDS) ON.
Swear to GOD I wanted to Liu Kang that bitch. I would've, but according to the myths, Weebles wobble but they don't fall down.
BITCH. OMFG.
LEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTT her not take me to VA Friday. That's right, FRIDAY, got some shit to take care of before the wedding. FRI-DAY MOR-NING. Put your daughter in daycare, do something. Trip if you want, I already have a job I could be doing TODAY, IN HER ONLY RIVAL STORE, SALES-WISE, SO LET'S KEEP IT CORDIAL, HMM???
Mr. Owl, how many kicks does it take to get to the center of a 5-month old???
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