ASLEEP, UNTIL I'M AWAKENED 20 MINUTES LATER BY THE FUCKING DOG TRYING TO EAT HER WAY INTO A BAG OF CINNAMON HONEY GRAHAM STICKS.
OOOOOOHHHHHHHH MMMMMMMYYYYYYYY GGGGGGGOOOOOOOODDDDDDD....
And this is AAAAAAAFFFFFFTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEERRRRRRR I wake up an HOUR earlier, 4:20am, b/c the BABY is losing her mind in LV's room, so she walks out here to make her a bottle (even tho I BET MY LIFE it was her diaper), making sure to recreate every childhood dream moment of a pots n pans band. Are you in a fucking GO-GO band!?!? Is this DC!?!? WTF, BITCH...
I WAS A-SLEEEEEEEEEEEEP, not on fucking hiatus. Don't bring me into your misery. Should've kept your legs closed. Vacuum-sealed, even. Maybe then your period blood wouldn't taint everything in your room, eh???
Low blow, don't even GAF. There IS a washer/dryer here. Get w/ it, bitch. I dgaf if you have to use a washboard.
ANYWAY, it's so loud that I think the fucking kitchen is overflowing w/ water from the dishwasher or something, so I get up only to see that it's just Bob the Builder, making her a bottle out of recycled Chef Boyardee cans and a welder.
After that was all over, I get my lil hour of sleep in, then the dog thing happens. I get up to get my blanket out of the dryer b/c the fucking Coca-Cola bear I work for loves the air on Heavenly Gates @ night.. What do I see in the kitchen???
Can anyone guess??? Rhymes w/ MISS, as in I MISS the days when stringing up a dog by it's neck from the lamp of the child it belongs to wouldn't get me thrown in jail.
YEP, MORE YUMMY PISS. I think I'm just gonna start drinking it w/ a twisty straw. She MUST be leaving it there for me, MUST be.
I throw a towel over it and go back to bed. I refuse to clean it, but I'm not gonna look @ it either. One of the Chosen Ones got it up this morning when I woke up specifically to bitch about it.
I look @ the clock and realize it's 6:24am and none of the kids are paying attention to the door to see if the bus is coming. It's not even open. So I yell to them to get their asses in gear, shoes on and backpacks, + get the door open. Sabrina informs me a day late that her backpack broke. Really not the best time, eh?
Of course, Amber's broke the other day so I wasn't shocked. LV is the cheapest bitch ever, I swear. Christian's pants look like some damn CAPRIS. I can see his ENTIRE ANKLE/SHIN REGION in one pair, LMMMFAO. I can't stand lil kids looking poor. One thing I would gaf about, is how my kids were dressed. It affects them in school cuz I knowwwww this nigga is gettin' baked on the regular.
LV still hasn't hit me back on the whole Friday thing. I just now brought it up b/c if she tries to pop off, I will walk and I don't want to do that before my next check this weekend, haha. Fucka-yoooooo! My Ma tryna work w/ me on it. We'll see. Might have to bite the bullet. I will also bite her fucking head off.
She just called me, but I guess she has no reception. Didn't hear shiiiitttttt.. Maybe Stefan's call was fuckin' hers up, cuz as soon as I hung up it rang again.
Hm there were some other lil tidbits I wanted to share. Tidbits of retardation, of course. Oh, for ONE.. I said a while back how the ten y.o. can't read either, right??? K. I'm never gonna be able to wrap my head around this. Who ignores ignorance???
THEY CANNOT READ. I'm not worried about them being mad while I type, b/c they have no clue wtf I'm even saying. Yesterday when I was maaaaaaddddddd as a bitch @ Christian, I was like, "OMG Christian, are you paying attention @ all??? Do you want my help or not??? IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU CAN'T READ!" and then I immediately lost it b/c I felt it coming out, as soon as I said "it's not my fault".. Really wasn't even thinking about Big Daddy, but we all know how my mind works. Straight quotes.
I don't know what to do w/ them two, man. I keep trying to help them but they are sooo beyond it. They don't WANT to learn anything, which is making it worse. Sabrina thinks it's funny that she fucked her homework up so royally b/c she can't spell shit, or make a complete sentence. What the fuck am I supposed to do w/ that? I'm not their mother, it's not my job to make sure they don't turn out like Sling Blade...
Mkaaaaay, call me BACK now. I just tried.
I sweeeeaaaarrrrrr....
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