So many blog ideas, so little REMEMBERED...

I hate when I forget things, but I have enough in the memory to go on, so here goes!

I stumbled upon an article on one of my favorite blogs, Jezebel, titled 'Black Women: Wise Best Friends To White Women Everywhere', which I think is simply devine! It's so true, haha. Especially in my life. The picture they use, of Dionne and Cher from Clueless, is so perfect for this b/c I def thought way back to Maudi and I in the Willoughby days, altho in actuality she was Puerto Rican.. But there was also Tori. I'm a habitual offender when it comes to white girls - a la Kobe Bryant.

And speaking of Maudi, I am most certainly jamming to Hanson, thinking about the day she left for PR. I remember bawling my eyes out listening to 'I Will Come To You. To make it even gayer, I was also clutching onto the penny w/ the heart punched out. Of course, I def said that that's how I felt, haha..

Ten years and some change later, I no longer have the heart, or the countless letters I had saved.. Alll in the storage shed.

W/e, I'm in a good mood right now so no time to think about that. All of ^ was written way earlier in the day, + a lot more but I never got to let it save b/c the net connection was fucked up, and while I was watching a movie, Amber apparently got on here and closed my shit out. You don't have any idea how bad I wanted toooooooooomfg how bad I wanted to BEAT SABRINA'S DUMB ASS EARLIER....

I went and watched 'The Devil's Rejects' in a back room earlier, w/ the baby in tow who was asleep thru most of it.. When it was over, I went to make the baby a new bottle and stumbled upon the DIRTIEST KITCHEN AND LIVING ROOM EVERRRRRR... I was soooo fucking IRATE, my blood was on FIRE. I was calling their names out the door b/c I couldn't see them in plain sight (another fuck-up!). When they finally came in, I went the fuck OFFFFFFFF about that shit. Sabrina prob felt like straaaaaight ass, but I felt like shit when I was mopping the dog piss, like I run a fucking daycare/kennel..

I'll beat that bitch w/ a bat.

I put her in her gated area outside and that was that. But that was before they got home. The mess was mostly Sabrina's, esp the kitchen. I made it worse tho b/c in my pre-"GET IN THE GODDAMN HOUSE" hot flash, I took everything that belongs to them that was in the lr and threw it all onto the floor, b/c I CLEARLY stated the day before that nothing that belongs in their room/bookbag was to be found ANYWHERE but those places. Their shit was EVERYWHERE, so I lost it. Plus the kitchen was a fucking WRAP, hot cocoa shit everywhere, ty SABRINA, who I told she better not open NAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEE FUCKING PACKET W/O A GOV. ISSUE WAIVER STATING SHE CAN...

HFLJSADHGLJKHDSGLKHDSG I'M MAD JUST THINKING ABOUT IT... Then she wanted to do the shit all slow.. I wouldn't even let her kneel down to get the shit, I wanted her on her feet and as uncomfortable as possible w/o getting the SHIT kicked outta her, which I wanted to do OH-SO BAD... Nasty fucking RETARD.. How can you be stupid & sloppy... One or the other, bitch. CLEAN UP AFTER YOUR TEN-YEAR-OLD SELF ALREADY OMFGAAAAAAAAAAD IT'S THE FLASHBACKS OF LU/LAUREN AS KIDS THAT'S MAKING IT EVEN WORSE. Everything I have to clean for them, I feel like I'm back in Willoughby being used in the first-born slave trade.

So I'm not going thru THAT shit w/ these niggas when they're all the same ages I started having to do everything for myself. I hate a dumb kid, and a dumb helpless one is eeeeeeeeven worse. No bullshit, I was talkin' cash shit to Sabrina for a second there. I had to look away from her. THAT is how messed up the house was.

I was like, OMFGAD I WISH I COULD BE JUST AS RETARDED AND NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT MY MOTHER'S HOUSE LIKE YOU GUYS... lmmmmmmmfao..

Hi, Hell???

Call the Devil, tell him I am ON THEE WAY...

It's so hard not to flip that sarcasm overload switch when dealing w/ kids w/ their limited ass mental abilities.. Christian can't even fucking READ and he's SEVEN YEARS OLD. How fucking LONG is it going to take!?!? I told him what his homework (write down the days of the week in neat handwriting) and he looked @ me w/ the blankest stare ever. I was like, "Christian, do you know the days of the week? Can you spell them?" and he said yeah.. So he walks away, then he pissed me off about something... Oh, trying to watch tv in his room.. So I told him to do his chore (bathroom) first since he was so desperately looking for something to do other than homework. After that he comes back w/ the homework sheet and I tell him what to do AGAIN. THEN I was like, "Christian... Can you read?? Like, the words on this paper??".. I turned the sheet towards him and told him to pick words to tell me. This nigga says "TO" and "A", like I'm gonna be impressed. I went off about that, and the school systems pretty much to myself. Asked him exactly wtf it is he does during school hours while everyone ELSE is learning how to read/write. He said he pays attention, I quickly replied w/ "Doubt it, not if you can't read the days of the week, which are most def on this page. WHICH btw means you just lied to me b/c you said you can read them." and he just kinda stared @ me..

I almost threw up. Swear it.

So theeeennnn I ask him again to find a word, one w/ 5 or more letters in it. Can't do it to save his LIFE. Pointed to Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday on the paper. Asked him to read it. I was like, "SEE, NOW YOU LOOK LIKE A LIAR, AND I JUST LOOOVE A LIAR. If you need help just ask me next time."........

I ended up getting a notepad and writing the days down, then I told him to re-write it next to mine which I had him do twice before doing on his actual homework paper. Even tho he finally did it... WTF, man.. Pay attention to your fucking KIDS, people.. That shit really made me sad, b/c htf can he not read yet??? He's in the first grade, which isn't THAT far ahead, but DAMN. Not a SINGLE WORD ON THE PAPER????

I'm never having kids, that's it. If mine turns out this dumb, I won't want it anymore and then I'll be the bad guy for throwing it awayyyyyyanno I'm kidding right???

Babies go for good $ these days, why GIVE it away.........

Anyway, there was one other dumb kid moment. All 3 of them (Madison doesn't count) had their moments.. I'm sitting in LV's room when I hear someone go "Miss Christian?"... I sat there (not facing her) stunned for a sec, cuz I just KNEW she meant me.. She she addresses me that way like 3 more times and I'm like, "OMFG ARE YOU KIDDING ME!??! CHRISTIAN IS YOUR BROTHER, JACKY, MY NAME IS LISA AND YOU ARE FULLY AWARE OF THIS!"....

PLEASE don't let me reproduce. Or ask me to play w/ your baboon offspring. I'm done w/ children for a GRIIIIIIIIP after this, unless it's s job haha... And I'm never this angry w/ any kid, but theeeeeese particularly dumb fuckers are just too much.

Basically, Amber = me (but dumber, most def), where she is the leader of the pack, the oldest (only by a year but SABRINA is so damn dumb, may as well be 6 years) who is the slave thanks to Mommy, just like me. Brina and Christian are Lucious and Lauren, but WAAAAAAAAAY dumber, and it's an issue I need to work out w/ a therapist, I swear. I am RUINED by my upbringing, I swear. That shit left my heart straight damaged when it comes to kids. If Halle Berry can wait 'til 40, so can I. Maybe then I'll have a diff outlook on them, but as of right now, I can't see why anyone would take the chance of having a stupid child, or a brat/cuntrag like my sister.

Sorry if you take offense, but that is MOST DEFINITELY how I feel about anyone under the age of like, 5-6. Fuck'em. Why? Cuz FUCK'EM, that's why.