Ok, KC, you're DEAD!! Look what you made me do.

Soooooo me and my biotch KC have been sparring via comment to get songs stuck in each other's head, but my recent retalliation just fucked me up cuz not ONLY am I blaring it in the headphones, but I'm looking up the MMC version to further the damage.

How so?

It will lead me to the MMC version of Cry For You (on my page), whiiiiiich will lead me to ___________...

Whiiiiiiiiich will lead me, well, here:



B/c I can't everrrrr watch anything MMC w/o instantly looking up 'N Sync afterwards..

The mere mention of MMC makes me want to marry Matt Morris, WHOOOOOOOOO btw has a clip of my fave song off his last album on YouTube. Remember, Jen? 'Betting Man' was my SHIT..

He's re-recording it for the new ish he's putting out on Justinnnn's label. Rawr.

Far past the point of psycho, I will kill the first ho that tells me she ♥'s Matt Morris. I used to run in the house DURING kickball to make sure I saw the MMC/MM.

Here's the clip and one of my fave lyrics:



"Yoooouuuu haaaad your reeed stilletos oooonnn theee daaay you walked aaaaaaaaaall over meeeee, yeeaaahhh..."

LOOOOOVE his voice, JESUS.

For future ref,

when I post shit from Myspace, I'm gonna put [ms] in the title.. Either that, or the post label.

This is how I feel right now.. [groovy, baby]

"Welcome"

[Intro:] Groove as your soul sings.
Spinnin' all around as we dust a melody

Welcome to this groove you can move right
We gonna take you higher not caught in the quagmire
I can't survive on a stupid nine to five I'd rather be poor
Writing tunes livin' on a commune
Kickin' it with my brothers and significant others
Life in pursuit of only money we think it's funny
The only thing that money it could ever bring to me
Would be some gifts for my friends follow me now
Trips for my family

The only thing I love is freedom the people around me I need 'em
I'dlike to build the world a spliff but like I said I said
You could never get me interested in dreams of wealth
Myself my birthday happens to land on April twelfth whack

A Coney Island of the mind it's mine
I swipe the sweets strip the beats in the sunshine
Loco holmes I stroll because I'm thinking
A tone poem alone is love medicine then the demon
Spring revolution in my spirit here it is and I will kill with it

Traveling head spinnin' from the medicine
Illusions fadin' out an comin' on again
unwind your mind then find entire minutes abstract
the tract of sight day breaking in it
doles out my share of the world ocean and sun
Rising with whirling motion

I fought kicked and screamed my way to getting born now I feel
Warm and I say come on the night won't save anyone
won't you roam
We've grown so we can write again our soul select its own way for
The travellin'
we're here we're breathing and we wanna keep our
Blood running so we're gonna keep gunning till the next homecoming
I like the boogie to the bang bang boogie say up jump the boogie
To the bang bang come on

♥

The Kween of All Media!

'Tis I, owner of said Krown!

I've been uploading maaaaad vids on YouTube, and I want to start video-blogging here and on Myspace. I don't know when, but soon. REAL soon.

I feel a new chapter opening up.

Gotta love it!

Exactly, Perez........

Noticeably absent from the Academy Awards' "In Memoriab" tribute to those that have passed away? Brad Renfro.

Wassup with that????

--

I could spit FIRE right now. Fuck the Academy, the man died and deserves the same recognition everyone else got. Let's just talk about the fact that he died the week BEFORE Heath, so it's not like he missed the cut-off.

I'm irate, omfg.

I still ♥ you, baby!

Holy SHIT...

The book, omfg..

Reality check! I can do it, but I'd have to seriously not hang w/ ya'll for like a week to catch up on the lil notes and shit I've left myself on things to make chapters out of. That's the problem I'm having now. I have maaaaaad ideas jotted down and saved to where the book is, but I don't have the time to go from there, to dig deeper into the subject and really get talkative. One little paragraph simply won't do, unless it's supposed to be that way.

DLSOJHGL;SDJHGL;SDHL;

HERE WE GO AGAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINNNNNNN...

I don't want to lose focus, esp since I think about the book all the time. I even came up w/ what I HOPE will be the last title change. It's awesome, just like everything else I've conjured up. I'll just use the old ones as chapters b/c they started out like that anyway, then I decided I would use them, so now they can just go back and I'll continue on..

Damn, man.. I need to come to this house next week for like a week straight and I could catch up. Jess and I chill in such a way that I could do it w/o being bothered, ntm I can always write around her b/c she never asks me anything about it unless I say something warranting a response. Most of you feel the need to nag me or peek over my shoulder, NEVER KOSHER, always happens tho.

Sick fucks. Why is your only voyeuristic moment involving me? Go watch someone jack-off or something, CHRIST.

LOL.

Uhh, what else.. Hm.. As easy as this was for me to type, I want to let the chapters flow. No one is fucking w/ me, but I don't want to sit here all day when I still have to shower and get ready for dinner. During the weekdays tho, I would just be clickity-clackin' away.

Either that, or I need my own f-n place but I'm not gonna get into that b/c that's still a ways away.. I need to get some writing gigs or something, that would be dope. The book Jessica's mom gave me is quite inspiring, and I'm only like 23 pages in. Just like my book, but that just inspires me more w/ what I'm already doing, not something I want to do down the line. Unless you count the sequel book, aptly titled ___, lol. No, not *flatline*, but I don't want you to know what it is.

It seriously only took me like 5 mins to type all this (w/ my brain spacing out), so just imagine...

I dunno, I need a master plan. A bigger and better one than the one I already have. Must consult me madre! She can help me. She's not gonna tell me to take any ol' job or something like that, which I would do if I wouldn't have to keep it. I need a little extra $ to get ahead but getting ahead means leaving your dream behind for a little while, and that's how it all starts. Next thing you know, I'm looking back on my 34th birthday, wishing I never stopped trying my hardest to get the book done.

Errrrrrr, no.

Boldly, I move forth. Not alone, but not w/ you.



My current ringer for Laaaaaaauuuuuuuurrrrrrreeeeeeeeennnnnnn...

_______________________________________

BEEEEEEFORE I FORGET, OMFGAAAAAAAD...

Really, Tommy?? Why'd you have to pop up and kill a bitch?? I'm dead about to go thru all my old entries and delete anything remotely close to embarassing about you, haha.

Wooooow, the amount of OG-ass friends that've popped up in my life recently is ASTOUNDING. Tori, I swear, all of Willoughby will be on here soon enough..!

I can't believe it.. And thennnnnn, I see both Dave & Matt Pemberton's pages.. WHAT THE FUCCCCCKKKKKK... Jared too, but his was private. Anyway, the 3 of us spent K-5 in the same school/classes, and Jared def lived next door to me for a griiiiiiiiiip.. It's not like we just knew each other, he taught me how to ride a bike w/ no hands, amongst other things.. That's nuts!

Just want to throw out there the fact that I def was riding a bike first, lol..

Ah, and there's kids! Tommy, Matt, and Jared all apparently had a kid.. I remember the last two being the age their kids prob are now, so that's some crazy shit. All look the same, btw, which is even funnier. None of the old fam look majorly different, and I still obv have the babyface (sweat the kid).. So far, the ages of the ones that popped up are b/t 22-26. Over ten years since I've kicked it w/ any of them..

AAAANNNNNDDDDDDDD...

I think I found Maudi. I don't even want to get my hopes up, but it's such a done deal that even if it's not, I know where to go from the last step b/c it was a huge one. I will LOSE MY SHIT if I end up talking to her soon. Like, lay me down on a pillow w/ a year's supply of Kleenex, cuz it's a wrap. I can't take her and Tori in one year, + now Tommy and maybe Jared (hasn't written yet), etc etc...

It's funny how in the same time frame that I've been talking to Ted Jan about needing something new, something w/ sustenance (meaning I'm tired of half of you), I've been blessed w/ an insane amount of childhood friends. People I was naming off to Jessica A DAY AGO are now back in the fold. And Tommy? Pssh. Jen, you know what's up. I am STILL dying, and I hope to GOD he could gaf less what a blog/bulletin is.

JAJHFLIKDJSKDJSFLHDSGKLDSJGHDSJLKHFJDSFG JUST LET ME TALK TO MAUDI AND I'M GOOD.. AUGH! I will prob cry for all of eternity. It's been far too long.

All of this has made me such a happier person, too. I'm so stoked about it all, omfg.. I keep cheesing.. Awesome..

Hilarie, how much did we talk about this shit??? I feel like I'm about to throw up confetti..

FUCKIN' SWEEEEEEEEET DGHSDJLKHGLSDJHGLSDH ________________________________________________________

I can't.

Ugh.

LOVE IT.

Black by popular demand.

I had originally planned on saying a lot more on the topic, but I don't want my gems to go to waste, soooooooo...

Unless you're black, I dgaf how you feel about Black History Month. If you've never been called a nigger in all seriousness, then stfu. I dgaf if you're hispanic either b/c this is about BLACK history, not minority history. I can preesh the fact that you're sympathetic, but no one but you even knows when Hispanic Heritage Month is, so you have zero effect/leverage in my argument.

(As a PS, it's in Sept, but that doesn't count b/c I know everything.)

There are so many ignorant friends of mine whose comments dont matter to me b/c anyone w/ ears can hear their simple-ass rants (aka racist drivel) and disregard it as such. You don't bother me bc you can't. No one w/ an IQ that low ever could. If you can't SPELL equality why would you care about it?

Fuck it, right?

This goes out to the obvious, and then to the quick to stereotype (even tho they can't be racist, they have black friends!) b/c you all make me laugh on the inside. A good portion of the people who will respond won't even know I'm talking about them, which is just FANTASTIC. I love ignorant jackasses.

My life has been so relaxed lately and I've spent a lot of time thinking about how many of you don't deserve to be near me, @ least not the amount you've been in the past.

Again, how did you con me into being your friend?? Don't look to the left/right, I'm talking to you, kids.

Kids...

No need for the keyboard killings of old right now, most of you are stupid enough to the point where I don't need to highlight it anymore, it's just a fact of life.

A life less ordinary....



*throws up fist*

PPS, the other stuff I left out was the arguments about plagarism and all-around theivery of the cool, something that has taken place in BH for a griiiiip, essssp in music. Well, more notably for ME. But like I said, you will get lost along the way, so I'll shove it in a battery and save it for later..

PPPS, the ones in all black looking very militant = part of the FOI (Fruit of Islam).. Google it, ho.

Why not just go there??

I hate when people "stop themselves from hurting my feelings".. Trust me, I've heard it all and none of its ever funnier than the dumb shit I say. Ever. It's not like it's all, "OMG have you seen how much weight shes gained?"......

I've been the same weight since most of you met me, give or take a few lbs. It's no secret. And to imply that you are being nice by letting me know you thought of some asshole shit but you're not telling me what it was ("as a friend") is absolutely absurd. Some would say it's truly, truly, truly outrageous. That just lets me know you think I'm weak.

What's even better is in the specific moment that led to this rant, I was about to be the one to insert the obv fat joke where it belonged until YOU said what you said. I dont need that. Like I said then, that's more dick then w/e you had to say, I'll bet you. Its w/e tho bc you dont get what I'm saying so let's end it on this...

The other obvious slash mad typical thing to do.



*sigh, sigh*

I'd LOVE to have a male counterpart as smart as I, even as a friend. I'm walking circles around 90% the people I know w/o batting a lash, and it's getting old. Nothing is a challenge (esp not intellectually), and every argument is nothing but net.

Fuck w/ it.

Ohh, that's riiiiiiight........ ♥

HOWEVER.....

Face to face, you'll still be receiving that hot fiya I love to deliver.

I was born to fight back.

Apparently my therapist was right all those years ago. She told me I should go into law or therapy.

All I ever do is make extremely valid points even when it has nothing to do w/ me, and calm you silly fucks down, so I guess so..

You should be paying for this kind of shit.

You WILL be, one day...

"But sooner than later they'll be throwing quarters @ you on the stage..."



"Yeah, it's just a phase... It will be over soon......"

♥

So, I finally deleted the PS blog..

It sat there forever b/c I reeeeeeally didn't want to post it. When I typed it it felt off, which is why I stopped @ first..

There's so many of you that were about to geeeeeeeeet iiiiiiiiiit, but in the end... So much shit is already on blast just from your own stupid decisions, it really doesn't matter anymore.

Soooo many of ya'll/us need to grow the fuck up, it's unreal. Some of my younger friends are showing their Zebra Stripes, so emo and upset, so angsty for no goddamn reason other than general upsets. Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaduuuuuuuuuuuup, w/e. I'll kick your teeth in, will that make you feel better???

It's not just the youngins.. There's some grown ass people still acting like fucking Rugrats, me being one of them, but I also stiiiiiiiiill don't have any drama to call my own. I got my drink and my 2-step, chuuuuuuuch.

Everyone's so full of contradictions, which is another reason I didn't post it. I don't want to hear someone say they agree and then have them not know that part was about them, lol.. And even if I told them, they'd all just say I was right but then get mad later on when I'm not there.......

Like they do everyone else.

Whatever.

I feel like some people think they have to be a certain person to be around me, but I really dgaf b/c I'm open to all kinds of people. Bring me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free... More importantly, bring yourself w/ you. I hate the feeling that I'm getting lately, like the real are dwindling down to a select few. But then again I guess that's really a blessing b/c the more blatant it becomes, the easier it is to bleed you out and leave you to die, lol.

W/ every passing week/month, I ask myself ONE main question about certain folks: How did you con me into being your friend (told ya I wouldn't forget, Ted Jan)!?

Blaaaaaaaaaah, it's w/e really, you can hang around, feel free to linger. I'm not paying any attention to you, but it's okaaaaaay!

I've got a book to write!

As a PS, this post is just some ol' bullshit I felt like saying recently, but I just now remembered. Don't take it to ♥, I just want you to be alert.



What if I say I'm not like the others......?