When will I blog again??

Not today.

However.....

Well, well, well...

Look what we have here...



Haha.. Yeah, it's Dani.. Hollaaaaaaa!

Shit happens.. People change. Neither of us have, but that's besides the point..

Ooh, lawdy.. I've been lovin' life, esp lately.. I love work, even tho it's nowhere neeeeeaaaaaaarrrrrr a dream job. However, I'm told that I've far exceeded expectations w/ no prior experience, lmmfao.. Ask me if you want to know where.. Don't need niggas on the jock while on the clock! I can't even answer the phone, gotta be up in the BATHROOM and shit..

I spend most of my potty time recording voice notes for Lauren b/c I don't have time to tell her all that I want to..

Hm.. I still want to go to the beach and do the shit Marina was talking about.. I want a 2nd job, something to occupy my nights. I work days, 4pm being the latest I've walked out of there.. It's only been a week, not even, but it's worrrd. It's not killing me like I thought, so it's w/e.. I'm only in it for the benefits.. Couple check-ups and a nigga is OUTTA there.. Not w/o a backup plan, obv, but that's another reason to go to the beach! Plus, my Ma's friend works @ a dealership and might get me in there.. West wants me to work @ Target (her friend is a manager) but I'm nooooooot really feelin' that. The returns a-LOOOOOOONE.

Actually, my happy ass would prob love it, so hm.. Might have to shake the piss up a bit and pass me a test or two.. I dunno, my job is 20 mins away, so a quick 40 a day and a nigga is brillin...! The days are going faster and faster, I looove it..

Not only that, but I have a LAUNDRY LIST of things I DESP need sooooooo I can't wait til payday.. It's on like Donkey Kong..

Hm, what else.. OHHHHHHH SOOOOOOO... Sat night was allllllllright for fighting.. And by fighting, I mean RULING the beer pong table @ Vogels.. Holy SHIT, Jessica and I won like ten games straight, which was all that was played b/c we def emptied the fridge completely. At the end of the night, it felt like I'd had MAYBE 5-6 beers total.. Shut-outs, near shut-outs, it was just fantastical! We made SUCH a great time, and we have the best beer pong chemistry b/c we stay out of each other's way and we don't ride the other player if they miss a time or two (or three.. it happens!).. We both know how bad we want to win, and it just makes us that much more determined.. Winning for two is fun, lol.. JessiKa took lots of pics from that night, none of which are flattering to my fat ass but oh well.. There's also pics from beer pong @ my house, all of which I need to upload but God only knows when that will happen.. I'm not even WRITING, OMFG EWWWWW...

Please, cuss me the fuck out for that.. If I told TJ that (altho obv he knows now) he would cuss me up and down.. But it's not for naught! I've just been busy, that's all.. I walk! Doesn't that count for something!??!

All of that was for Ted Jan, b/c those are the excuses I plan on giving me when he calls to ask why I'm not on my grind.. I just haven't felt that inspired lately..

WHICH btw is def a lie, b/c like a week ago I stole one of my fave novels ever, Rubyfruit Jungle by Rita Mae Brown.. Google it if you will. It has inspired me loooooaaaaaads, and I plan on writing about it. That's gonna be the Brick Breaker of knowledge that flows thru me.. After that, it'll all fall into place..

I actually know the real reason I haven't been writing, and it does have to do w/ inspiration, but none of a solid source.

Ugh. All of that sounds like a cop-out. The main thing really has been time, b/c btt I can actually get ready to write, I'm all tired and shit and just end up not doing it.. Aw, fudge. I really want to tho.. Just sitting here @ the keyboard makes me want to let a bunch of shit go, but this is all I got for ya right now.. It's ok tho, I'm still gonna come w/ that FIIIIIIIII-YA soooooo don't even worry about it..

BTW, b/c I can't stress this enough... BIG B, DIRTBALL, DGAF, POTLUCK ETC ETC ETCCCCCCCCC @ Peppermint Beach Club May 20th, be there orrrrrrr be them bum ass niggas that wish they'd been in attendance! Dylan is forsaking a trip to South Dakota (yikes!) for the show, so I know your ass can go.. That is, if you're into it.. Don't go just b/c I said so, altho some of you prob will, haha...

Um, I think that's all I have to say for right now.. I'm suddenly @ a loss for words.

Lest I forget...

Maroon 5 is DEFINITELY coming the DAY AFTER my birthday, WHIIIIIIICH is my late husband's (Brad Renfro) birthday.

Maybe God is apologizing for taking him so soon??

Apology MOST DEF not accepted, if so.

Of course, b/c I said that, Adam Levine is gonna die in a firey bus crash and I'm gonna kill myself immediately afterwards.

DEF already taking that back, jic. If Brad can go, anythings possible in MY book.

But anyway, I reeeeally want to go to this, soooooooo.. Now that the 311 concert has been taken care of, who wants to buy me ANOTHER awesome-ass present??!

Any takers?? I mean, I'ma end up going regardless, but if you reeeeally loved me...



Btw, I'm watching that ep right now, lol.. I ♥ Chris Kirkpatrick, his voice is so cute lol..

MY SHINY TEETH ARE AWESOOOOOOOOOOME! LMMFAO..

I had a dream about you last night...

Weird. It felt so real, too. Sooo real.

I still want make that mockumentary... Do you remember what I'm talking about? W/ the paparazzi shots, haha..

Very interesting..

What's more interesting is that in the dream, I told you about the moment that I realized when and why it all went sour, and the part that I played.. There was someone else there, but it wasn't in any kind of way significant, as this person would never be able to express themselves in the same way..

Two different levels..

Damn, I know exaaactly what I have to do, I just don't know if I want to do it..

I know what I want the outcome to be, and if it's anything other than that, I'll be highly annoyed.

Recently, I came to the conclusion that I will make amends w/ the world, let it be, and w/e happens from there, it just happens. Making amends doesn't = making friends, so it's not like I want people back into my life. I just want everything laid out in plain english and settled. Nothing to dwell on, no one to "hide" from, etc.

Soon as that happened, I was GOING to blog about it, but I never got around to it.. One of the people I immediately thought of afterwards hit me up days later.. I didn't want to do it after that b/c I didn't want it to seem contrived.. None of this is, that's why there are no specifics..

It is what it is, just like everything else.

I feel like I'm being buried alive.

Under what? A mountain of pictures I need to edit and upload, a PLETHORA of notes and shit that need to be written properly into the book.. I don't eeeeeeeeven want to get into how slack I've been on that, omfg..

It's depressing.. I feel like I haven't written a goddamn thing altho I have.. It's just not enough, not NEARLY enough.. But I've also been pre-occupied w/ the dumbest shit ever, thus making it my fault. I'll get it together on my next boring weekend.. Last weekend I painted Lauren's walls, went to a Pork Pull, and did the family outing thing w/ Angel, etc..

This weekend has no concrete plans so far, so maybe it'll happen. I need a weekend @ Gmas to really get my head back into it.. There's always major distractions everywhere.. Either there, or Sarup's.. Only places in VA I feel like I can just write and write.. Gmas comes w/ a hitch tho - everyone usually needs to be asleep b/c they ask me a thousand ?s otherwise.. Not just about writing, but that, too. That, and the whole looking over the shoulder thing, which is a condition I simply CANNOT write in. I tense up so hardcore, esp when I'm blogging, lol.

Anywhere that happens is a no-no. Unless I give some sort of hint, staaaay away. I've stated this before, but it's always good to give a little refresher course..

Anywaysssss, I've been on so many random little adventures, and there's so many pics and stories I have yet to share.. Notice how there's been a lack of blogs in the past month, other than certain moments where I just let it out a little.. But I don't have many of the moment-by-moment ones, hm? It's not even like they're private moments or anything, I just haven't felt like talking about it..

Last night, however, will def have pics to show for.. I turned a friend of mine into a fuckin' Doodle Bear, haha.. Can't wait to get those up, but I have like 400+ pics as of right now, NOT INCLUDING THOSE, to deal w/ soooooo...

Yeah.. I let everything pile up and now I'm basically ignoring the pics and writing.. That's essentially what I'm trying to say, haha.

Fuckin' A.. At least I've been mostly sticking to my new lifestyle plans, eh Ted Jan!? He's so proud of me, I loooove it! It's always motivation.. MUSIC is motivation and he provided a way to always have the music.. I feel like a bloated Aladdin, and he's my tatooed Genie, lol..

Awesome.